How to beat a speeding ticket

Want to know how? Read on…

Here are the facts. I was pulled over on North Water Street, for those of you familiar with the area, right near Laacke and Joy’s. For those not familiar, a curving, perhaps sinusoidal, street that runs along the Milwaukee River. It was late afternoon, about 5:00 p.m., and it was the day after my birthday. Also a Friday. I happened to be on my way home after dropping off a coworker at his house and just about to head out for the evening to meet some friends for the aforementioned occasion. I was between Brady Street and the downtown Water Street drinking district. I was also in the right lane behind a bus.

Given that I drive a common looking car, and was driving in a populated area at a busy time, I went to court asking the prosecution to prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that they had their man.

Armed with a slew of informaiton in my folder, I set off to court. I presented my documents. A Microsoft MapPoint view of the street. A Google Maps satellite image of the area. A picture of my car. A picture of a similar car. The timetables for the bus routes. Research on laser radar guns and the proper usage of them. I asked if the officer pointed at the front plate of the car. He said yes. I pointed out my car does not have a front plate, but in order to avoid being scolded for it, I also stated I recently ordered one. I asked if he noticed the Honda beside me in the left lane with the large coffee can style mufflers that took off from the last traffic light. He could not see it from his angle. I asked if the officer recalled my being behind a city bus, to which he excitedly replied yes. I offered that if the city’s public transportation regularily travelled at that speed, I might be more inclined to use it. I borught out the timetables, with the route and directions showing that the speed of the bus and the frequency of the stops would not allow it to stay true to the timetable at that speed.

And I was right behind it.

Using the maps and satellite images, I pointed out the street I was on and the position of the police car. Drawing a straight line, I pointed out that it was entirely possible, if not probable, that the beam would hit more than one vehicle. I also pointed out that at that particular angle, the Accord in the left lane would have been blocked from his sight and speed detection equipment by the bus.

The prosecutor tried to point out that my driving record was not the best, in fact, at one point, downright lousy. I stated that yes, that was true, but I had reformed, and had not had any sort of violation in over 4 years, and the one prior to that was in March of 2000. He shuffled his papers and looked at the cop again, but they had nothing to prove that it was for certain me. The case was dismissed without further prejudice. The judge presiding over the case told me “Well done,” but also warned me to be careful in the future.

I’m not sure if it was the dazzling them with brilliance, or baffling them with bullsh*t, but I got off. Nothing owed, no points off my license, no mark on my permanent record. I never admitted or denied speeding, I just asked to prove it was me. I didn’t hire a lawyer, either, for in my experience, it would have resulted in the same fine, with fewer or no points on my license. I also would have had to pay the lawyer’s fees.

I took into consideration the government’s propensity to draw things out, demand paperwork, and make an individual give up out of frustration and pay the fine rather than treat it like what it ought to be, a spirited argument. I regret having to exit through the side door, or at least regret not glancing at my fellow citizens, in court for other offenses. I now wonder if any of them would have smiled or nodded at me, maybe some of them realized you don’t always have to lose in court. Perhaps someone got an idea in their head, asked for a postponement, and did research of their own

It really wasn’t that hard, a little searching, Googling, really, and I won. We all have it in us, I just wonder if anyone bothers.